Amazing..?-friends and family
Over the last two years I’ve gained friends and lost friends. But I’ve recently learned how amazing my family and the friends that i have that I consider my family, truly are. They are always there for me when I need someone to talk to. They know me. If I don’t want to talk about something they know when to not push, and to just leave me alone. I’m known for being a “bottled up” type of person, and honestly I think I can say, no one person truly knows me inside and out.
There are people like Kayla and Beth who have known me for a couple years that know what I like in guys, what type of people I get along with and who I don’t. She’s a person who knows when I’m not going to be able to handle something, when I truly need help figuring something out, Or when I know what I’m up against. No matter what I know this chick has my back and I have hers. I know friends come and go and they talk about how they are going to be friends for life and all that bull, but I hope with this friend we do stay friends for life because sometimes she’s just the only one I can tell something to. I mean, maybe one day it will change, who knows but I hope not.
My Mom and Dad, they know my personality and what I will and wont do as far as morals go. I,ve made mistakes in my past but I’m pretty sure they have forgiven me and trust me again. They always know when something is wrong. My mom and me have become more like friends lately just because of the different paths life is taking us on. I don’t spend as much time with my father as I would like, but it’s ok. I don’t always agree with his decisions or ideas, but I respect them an move on. They are both way overprotectiveve, but I can only see why. I just wish I wasn’t as sheltered as I am.
I have new friends, like Brittany- who I can always be myself around and just goof off. But also at the same time, be serious and get work done. I know this chick has my back no matter what. When I was sick she got my notes and took care of my things in school, I’m lucky to have such a caring friend. There’s other people I hang out with and treat the same, but when this chick (or kayla) has a problem I do my best to help and give my advise, and vise versa.
My brother, this kid is amazing. When we were little we HATED each other, and even now we still fight when we’re together for a long time haha. But to be honest he has always been there for me. When ever I really had something on my mind that I just didn’t want to talk to anyone about he was always there. He always tried to help me in school even though i made him mad when he tried to help lol. We’ve had so many laughs, tears, fights and mistakes. Different last names and different fathers, but you could never say we’re not brother and sister. There has always been times when one of us just wants to tick the other one off-and what sucked about that was the fact that we knew exactly how to do it lol. We knew how to push each other to the edge of explosion. My head has been hit into walls, hes smacked/punched, both of our arms have been bruised, knives been pointed, but it’s all behind us. This kid’s in the army, training, and holy crap I miss him like hell. How we used to talk, yeah that doesn’t happen anymore. Life would just be so much easier if we got a chance to talk once and a while..and honestly, I’m afraid things are going to just stay like this and never go back to how it was before because by the time we go back to being able to talk-he’ll be a totally different person…
The people I lost-the only ones who ever even heard me cry. They were the only ones I could depend on, to lean on. The only ones I felt I could tell anything to. That were like my family, true family. I thought that we would be friends for life, or at least know each other the rest of our lives. I’d hoped I’d never lose you. But it happened, because I was stupid, made mistakes and missed chances.
If I wasn’t so stupid about my decisions and how I went about dealing with my problems, I could write about so much more. But those friendships ended because I made a mistake and all I can do is suck it up and move on. It makes life so much harder to bare knowing I would’ve stopped so much from happening by a couple small decisions, if i had just swallowed my pride and said I’m sorry. And actually I did recently, I tried to be a friend again, but he said no. The ironic part in this situation was-I wasn’t the one who said the hurtful things because I had learned my lesson! Not to say things you will regret or want to take back! So for once it want my fault, so all there is to do is say OK, GOODBYE. I mean what else can you do? I didn’t argue back, I guess they took it as I didn’t care, but I truly just didn’t want to lose anything else.. So now I’m lacking, oh well..
Moral of it all, value what you have when you have it, don’t be one of those who has to go through life thinking “what if..” or wishing they could hit the “rewind” button….